I remember feelin’ down, out in Alphabet City--
I was savin’ lots of skrill a skipped meal at a time.
Shaved my head, cuz I was sad. “SEEKING HEAD, NOT PITY”
Weak knees, dripping dreams--just another night.
Max said the show was dead, guess I’ll head home early.
Passin’ men passin’ out. This is real. I’m alive.
(It's surreal, I wanna die!)
“Come and hang!” “I’m away.” Steph says, “Don’t worry.”
Key in door, hit the floor--I can feel! I survived!
Night is heavy.
Bed is empty.
I’m sweating--
every dream is a sign.
Now I’m bored, sick, and sore. “Don’t you feeling like cryin’?”
“It’s whatcha get for lettin' bodies keep you up so late.”
Waste away every day. Just a gaunt, drawn guy--
a libertine rake plagued by nicotine shakes.
Now
I’m choking--
muscle confusion,
fruit smoothies,
light pollution.
I fear
that I’m falling
into disuse.
I just want to kiss you.
And I don’t remember going down in the basement,
but i do remember waking up on the cement.
And I don’t remember any of their faces,
but i remember waking up covered in semen.
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